Man, John Travolta Is An Awesome Guitar Player

I know many musicians try to sell their soul to the Devil in exchange for fame and fortune, but this guy is really taking it to the next level. He doesn't seem to want fame, fortune, or anything else for that matter. He doesn't want good looks, and he doesn't want less body hair, so what does he want? I'd ask Satan on our behalf, but he's not answering my calls anymore. His secretary puts me on hold and I have to listen to Highway To Hell on a loop until I give up and douse my phone in holy water to get it to stop.

I suspect this fellow is trying to melt faces with his blistering speed, like the last scene in Raiders of The Lost Ark, only with fewer Nazis and more potted plants.