Coincidentally, Feral Hogs Is The Name Of My Spice Girls Tribute Band

I wonder if I could use one of these to capture a girlfriend. I'm not sure what I'd bait it with. Probably a deer corpse. Chicks thirst for blood -- and shoes. A deer wearing shoes might be the best solution, but I'd have to run it by my R&D department. I think I'd be better off with one or the other, both seems a bit too macabre. If all else fails I'll make a little shrine in the center covered in Starbucks, Häagen-Dazs, and pictures of Ryan Gosling with his shirt off. I don't know what I'd do after that if no one shows up.

Perhaps capturing wild hogs isn't the same as capturing a suitable mate. While it's true that they both travel in packs and will devour your bait in minutes if you aren't careful, girlfriends can usually tell when they're walling into a trap. The giant cage swinging overhead is usually a dead giveaway, so it's important to be shrewd. Tell them not to go into the trap, or tell them that there is a trap, but they wouldn't want to go into it anyways.

She'll be so eager to prove you wrong that she'll waltz right into the trap and plop herself down in the center. I doubt the same technique will work on wild hogs because they don't really get reverse psychology, but it's always worth a shot.