Cooking, Or A Lack Thereof

How to Brown a Pizza Crust in a Convection Oven -- powered by ehow

I normally don't make fun of the appallingly disabled, but I feel like we have to make some allowances for our cooking-impaired friend. Not only is he dripping with extra chromosomes, he can't make a very good pizza either. That thing looked about as appealing as a truck-stop bathroom. If he was any kind of decent cook I could overlook the obvious deformities, but mutilating a pizza should be punishable by spaying.

I also have the sneaking suspicion that he doesn't know what he's talking about. For example, after blundering and slurring about for a bit, he manages to utter:

"...a convection oven is twice as hot as a regular oven at the same temperature."

As you may have guessed, that train-wreck of a sentence doesn't fill me with confidence in his ability to operate an oven that gets its heat from anything other than a small light bulb. It's not really his fault, so I can't be too mad. It's an eHow video, which makes it about as helpful as retarded, blind, quadriplegic, seeing-eye dog. That might seem a bit harsh, but I feel absolutely justified in my vague dislike for eHow. Any company that puts a little letter in front of their name needs to have all their designers taken eOutside and eBeaten within an inch of their eLife.