When Hipsters Attack

If he was any more underground he'd come out in China. I don't think they're hiring any philosophy majors, so he'd be out of luck there too. Still, he could work as a barista, but making 15 yuan an hour isn't as great as it sounds. He'd be better off turning his coolness meter down and switching to a more mainstream instrument; like a viola, or a glockenspiel. For his own good, of course.

I'm not knocking his style though, it takes a real man to unicycle through the forest. Adding in the accordion elevates him to a higher plane of existence. He couldn't get cooler if he tried. This concerns me greatly. I feel like he's going to rip a hole in the space time continuum, and we're going to wind up with mecha-Hitler, or something.

Oh well, there's nothing we can do about it now. Our unicycling friend is probably safe at home listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor vinyls and dreaming about a world made of artisanal bread. He can't hurt us anymore.