The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

Hey, Did You Hear About The Finnish Extrovert?

2012-01-31T10:23:00.001-05:00

A Finnish extrovert looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

(Thanks to Joan of Argghh for sending that one along)

Pshaw. Pretty Much Every Snowmobiler Does This At Some Point. Just Not On Purpose

2012-01-30T10:19:00.001-05:00

Bungee Cord Ax Massacre

2012-01-29T12:45:00.001-05:00

Psychobilly Freakout Shriner's Parade

2012-01-28T09:37:00.000-05:00

Those fellows should really be wearing fezzes. The situation demands a fez. I demand fezzes next time. Hie thee to Fezzes R Us immediately, sirs. It's next to the liquor store, so it's not out of your way.

(Thanks to the king of the psychobillies, Vanderleun, for sending that one along)

Why Every Railing In Snow Country Feels Waxy

2012-01-27T08:23:00.001-05:00

Janne Lipsanen

The German Motorcycle Police Are Well-Prepared For Circus Crime

2012-01-26T08:52:00.001-05:00

Amazing How Brave You Can Be On A Borrowed Motorcycle

2012-01-25T09:10:00.001-05:00

You'd never ride your own motorcycle up there. Something bad could happen to it. Much safer to borrow one.

(Thanks to the irrepressible Vanderleun for sending that one along)

Are You Man Enough For The Morning Commute In Chechnya?

2012-01-24T10:33:00.001-05:00

What ever happened to just flashing your high beams and swearing? Kids these days -- sheesh.

I Wouldn't Surf That With A Battleship For A Board

2012-01-23T10:02:00.001-05:00

Chris Bryan films

My Heart's Beeping. That's Good, Right?

2012-01-22T04:30:00.000-05:00

A proper borderline sociopathic dad shows his kids all he knows. Generally doesn't take long.

I Wanted To Be A Waterskiier, But I Could Never Find A Lake On A Hill

2012-01-21T05:30:00.000-05:00

The Ghost of Peachy Carnehan approves. Paddys in the paddies. It's a natural.

Hmm. "Irish bull surfers." Pshaw. I believe they call it "blarney" back in the auld sod.

(Thanks to Misterarthur for sending that one along)

Little Known Fact: I Made One Of These Once

2012-01-20T05:00:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, I was only trying to plumb a sink trap under a vanity, and it just turned out that way. It sounded great if you left the water running while you brushed your teeth, though.

(Thanks to the BSBFB devotees at Grim's Hall for sending that one along)

Sonny Bono Unavailable For Comment

2012-01-19T10:13:00.001-05:00

Driftin' And Driftin'

2012-01-18T07:16:00.002-05:00

I've driven like that quite a bit myself, but never intentionally.

Sometimes You Let Go Because A Swim Is Nicer

2012-01-17T04:30:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Charles Schneider, who's hanging on by his fingernails just like the rest of us, for sending that one along)

Snowbored? Snowboard

2012-01-16T09:47:00.001-05:00

Xavier De Le Rue

Yo, Dawg, I Herd You Like Gunz So I Shot My Gun With A Gun So U Could Shoot While U Shoot

2012-01-14T11:15:00.000-05:00

I don't often offer advice on the BSBFB, but we highly recommend that you don't put your Glock into your barrel stove if there's any rounds in the clip or the chamber. Just FYI. You know, a suggestion. Nothing hard and fast. Just seems safer.

(Thanks to Vanderleun for sending that along from his fully armed and operational battle station in Seattle)

I Know First-Hand That If You Sing This Song Four Times In A Row, Your Mother Will Give You Anything To Stop

2012-01-13T14:30:00.001-05:00

Does your boomerang come back?

Clyde Crashcup Turns The Page

2012-01-12T10:15:00.001-05:00

Hipster? I watched Clyde Crashcup make Rube Goldberg machines before he went mainstream. I don't even have a TV anymore.

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

KraftMaidWerk

2012-01-11T10:00:00.001-05:00

Fifteen Minutes. Goes By Fast

2012-01-10T08:53:00.001-05:00

(As seen at Dean's Garage)

Real Sociopathic Men Of Genius, Chapter 123: Here's To You, Mr. Ketchupbot With Sketchy Flageolet Accompaniment

2012-01-09T09:46:00.001-05:00

It's less messy than an eight-year-old, I'll tell you that.

Your Mother Was A Hamster Submariner And Your Father Smelt Of Elderberries

2012-01-08T10:01:00.003-05:00

In the cage where I was born
Lived a rat who went to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of submarines

So we went out to the pool
Where we found a sea chlorine
And we lived beneath the waves
In our hamster submarine

We all live in a hamster submarine
Hamster submarine,hamster submarine
We all live in a hamster submarine
Hamster submarine,hamster submarine

In the interest of accuracy, that's not a submarine. It's a submersible, or perhaps a diving bell. A submarine is an autonomous vehicle, not tethered with an airline like this thing, and in the navy where the real subs are, they would never waste something as valuable as a hamster in one, preferring instead to fill them with sailors like my childhood friend Tom K. AKA "Fish."

(Thanks to the Ancient Rhyming Mariner at American Digest for sending that one along)

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

2012-01-07T15:43:00.001-05:00

This Goat Owner Bears Watching

2012-01-06T12:04:00.001-05:00

Upon further reflection, the goat may very well own him.

(Sent in by that Billy-Goat-Gruff-type writer from the wrong coast, Vanderleun)

But There's No Snow. Doesn't That Make It The Longest Tiny Unarmored Half-Track Personnel Carrier Jump?

2012-01-04T08:42:00.001-05:00

It's Going To Be Fun Trick-Or-Treating At This Guy's House If He Gets Alzheimer's

2012-01-03T09:02:00.001-05:00

The Borderline Sociopathic Boy Is A Born Leader

2012-01-02T09:00:00.001-05:00

Old chrome dome had no choice but to fall in line.

Next Time, Try Holding The Grenade And Throwing The Pin. You Can't Do Much Worse

2012-01-01T09:54:00.000-05:00

I suppose the drill instructor is not in the panic business, so maybe his lack of panic shouldn't seem so notable. But it does. To paraphrase Rudyard Kipling: If you can keep your head when all about you are trying to blow it off with a misthrown grenade, yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, and - which is more - you'll be a man, my son!

(Thanks to that Borderline cross between Matisse and Audie Murphy, Casey Klahn, for sending that one along)

Happiness Is 2011 In My Rear-View Mirror

2011-12-31T09:36:00.000-05:00

Didn't we have a lot of laughs this year on the Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys? Happy 2012 to all our readers, and thanks to everybody who forwarded stuff to be included.

(Thanks to Gerard for sending that video along)

Pedal Faster. The Pedestrians Are Gaining On Us

2011-12-30T09:19:00.001-05:00

This will end badly. He'll probably go to jail for vivisection, trying to turn his housecat into a miniature giraffe.

Don't Laugh, I'm Pretty Sure This Is Approximately How The CIA Does It

2011-12-29T10:48:00.003-05:00

Got Three Minutes? Let's Light This Candle

2011-12-28T08:14:00.000-05:00

The Ice Tower Is Perfectly Normal. If He Makes One Out Of Mashed Potatoes, Then You Can Worry

2011-12-27T06:34:00.001-05:00

Being a good husband and father is a very subversive act these days. The authorities better keep their eye on this guy.

(Thanks to Vanderleun for skating that one on over)

Just A Boy And His Dog. A Giant, Omnivorous, Terrifying Half-Ton Dog

2011-12-26T11:55:00.002-05:00

That bear looks like he's going to be a kind and loving companion for that fellow, right up until the can opener breaks at mealtime.

Every Year I Ask For A Giant Vortex Cannon For Christmas, And Every Year I Get Warm Socks Instead

2011-12-25T10:43:00.001-05:00

Worst. Mason. Evar.

Dude's Nuts. That About Covers It

2011-12-24T06:21:00.000-05:00

He's like a short-bus superhero, or the patron saint of casters or something. Rollerman!

(Thanks to Vanderleun, almost a patron Saint himself, for sending that one along)

This Is My Favorite Song... Except For All The Others

2011-12-23T06:56:00.001-05:00

Luckily dangerous things like Lawn Darts and firecrackers and such are mostly banned, otherwise young men might injure themselves while fooling around. Young men are like that, I'm told.

Hi, I'm Vulcan's Chimney Sweep

2011-12-22T05:56:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Borderline Sociopath Boy Gerard, just back from dipping his tootsies in the Styx)

Let's Ride Bikes!

2011-12-21T12:02:00.000-05:00

Don't worry. There's always room for Jello

This Will Be The First And Last Time I Type The Words "Swedish Tank Doing Donuts"

2011-12-20T06:33:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I've Said It Before, I'll Say It Again: Compared To The Military, Everything On This Page Is Just Conversation

2011-12-19T11:00:00.001-05:00

Girls Only Want Boyfriends Who Have Great Skills. You Know, Like Nunchuku Skills, Bow Staff Skills...

2011-12-18T09:19:00.002-05:00

His mother signed him up to be a drum major, but he maimed all the woodwinds in the front row of the parade and they let him go.

Look, Mom, I Got My Car Chase Learner's Permit!

2011-12-17T07:53:00.001-05:00

We Have Met The Enemy, And He Is... Gravity

2011-12-16T12:35:00.000-05:00

Pogo!

(Thanks to the death-defying Vanderleun for sending that one along)

If I'd Have Known The Polyester Shirt From My 70's Leisure Suit Afforded These Sorts Of Supernatural Powers, I'd Still Be Wearing It

2011-12-15T10:02:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to our friends at Within the Crainium for sending that one along)

Bog Hockey, Yukon Style

2011-12-14T10:22:00.001-05:00

At least once in your life, leave all the gear at home, go outside, and play hockey on onyx ice. It's good for the soul. NO LIFTING!

I Wonder If This Was Invented By Accident

2011-12-13T07:26:00.000-05:00

Imagine what he was trying to do, and just how fouled up it got to end up thrashing around in the water with jets of water blasting out all over the place. It must have been glorious. Whatever; this rig will do. I'll take two for my underwater assassin squad.

(Thanks to my Borderline friend MisterArthur for sending that one along)

I Was Eight Years Old Once. I Didn't Have Any Sponsors

2011-12-12T13:34:00.001-05:00

Dedicated To Those Brave Souls Who Missed It By That Much

2011-12-11T12:28:00.001-05:00

(Dedicated to our friend Vanderleun, who continues to jump and make it)

It Would Be Silly To Call This Snowboarding. It's Mountain Climbing In Reverse With Your Feet Nailed To A Board

2011-12-10T08:52:00.001-05:00

Xavier de le Rue has never waited in a lift line.

It's Easier To Get Your Nine-Year-Old To Brush Their Teeth If You Let Them Dance In Their Socks For A While First

2011-12-09T06:00:00.000-05:00

Picking out our own outfits as well, I see.

In Other News, A Swiss Watchmaker Has Their Own Air Force

2011-12-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I Love, Love, Love The Hanna Barbera Production Values

2011-12-07T05:00:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Seattle's own Road Worrier, Vanderleun, for sending that one along)

The Greatest Safety Helmet In The World Is Still The Wool Toque

2011-12-06T11:20:00.001-05:00

Sack On Fourth Down, Done Properly

2011-12-05T08:46:00.001-05:00

It's Sunday. Time To Plug In The Do Nothing Machines

2011-12-04T08:28:00.001-05:00

It's Interesting To Consider That These Two Guys Made All The Happy Meal Toys In Your Kid's Lunch

2011-12-03T04:00:00.000-05:00

I am reminded of the the old joke about the trombone: It's a trick; he doesn't swallow it.

I love that he's doing it inside.

(Thanks to Honorary Borderline Sociopath Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I Think There's Supposed To Be A Dog In The Boat To Catch The Frisbee. But Maybe That's Just Me

2011-12-02T08:54:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to the big-hearted Vanderleun for sending that one along)

Hey, Guys? Has Anyone Seen My Phillips Head Screw Driver?

2011-12-01T07:12:00.001-05:00

The Borderline Blog For Boys salutes people who make things. Trouble, airplanes, whatever; it's all good.

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

GIT - EЯ - DUИ

2011-11-30T09:47:00.001-05:00

I used to employ some Polish painters fairly regularly, but the only words I can understand are right in the middle when the cameraman yells: "Faster, faster, faster" at the guy in the car. I used to yell that a lot.

Loose Granular And Corn Snow, Variable Thin Cover, Some Bare Spots, Laundry Day

2011-11-29T05:00:00.000-05:00

I Do Not Know You, My South Korean Tow-Truck-Driving Friend, But You Are My Brother

2011-11-28T09:17:00.001-05:00

Machinist Pr0n!

2011-11-27T05:00:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Tom Smith for sending that one along)

I'm Tellin' Ya, That Guy's Higher Than An Angel's Big Toe

2011-11-26T04:30:00.000-05:00

He Made It To November 26th. If He Can Hold His Own Past Christmas, He's Home Free

2011-11-25T09:32:00.001-05:00

Things Are Looking Up And Going Downhill Fast In Japan

2011-11-24T05:38:00.001-05:00

I Have It On Good Authority That It's Very Much More Difficult To Go Back Up The Hill On The Little Sled, Probably Due To Global Warming Or Something

2011-11-23T12:02:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to way-over-the-Borderline Boy Vanderleun for sending that one along)

I'm A Borderline Sociopathic Boy, So I Think They Should Build Another One Of These Things, Then Race Them

2011-11-22T06:54:00.001-05:00

Hint of mullet there, Clarkson.

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

If The American Idol Had Eight Arms

2011-11-21T06:59:00.001-05:00

There are many barriers between us. Language, that sort of thing. But I recognize my brothers when I see them.

It's a stroke of genius, really; they'll pay you just as much to stop doing that as they will for winning the show.

Loved the end. Here's a pile of money! Stop doing that!

(Thanks to Teman of Etherealland for sending that one along)

If You're Going To Raise A Cat-Burglar Properly, You've Got To Start Early

2011-11-20T08:19:00.001-05:00

Don't Forget Your Caster Oil

2011-11-19T10:28:00.001-05:00

If James Watt And Henry Ford Had A Love Child And An Afrika Corps Contract

2011-11-18T04:00:00.000-05:00

(Thanks to Honorary Borderline Sociopathic Boy Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

When I Grow Up, I Want To Be This Little Boy

2011-11-17T09:17:00.001-05:00

A person could go their whole life and not merit an "EYES RIGHT!" and what sort of life would that be?

An Ode To Gravity

2011-11-16T10:32:00.001-05:00

I Could Totally Do That

2011-11-15T11:17:00.001-05:00

But I can't afford all those little cones. Or a motorcycle.

Oh, Sure; Anyone Can Do That Sober

2011-11-14T12:21:00.001-05:00

How to play Snooker

Hurry Up. The Mountain Is Following Us

2011-11-13T04:00:00.000-05:00

The Gum Series

In The Dark Ages Of Antiquity, Man Invented The Wheel

2011-11-12T07:27:00.001-05:00

462 MPH In A Go Kart

2011-11-11T10:46:00.001-05:00

Well, not exactly a go-kart. Missile? Rocket ship? Hot Rod? Rocket sled...

Catch A Wave And You're Sittin' On Top Of... A Ten Story Building

2011-11-10T09:05:00.001-05:00

Garrett McNamara. You've got to keep your eye on guys named Garrett. They're wildmen.

Apparently there are world records for this sort of thing. That wave is reportedly 90 feet tall, breaking the record of 77 feet.

(Thanks to Misterarthur for sending that one along)

The Hills Are Alive, With The Sound Of BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROWRRRRRRRR

2011-11-09T04:00:00.000-05:00

The French Alps are mighty pretty when seen through a slight haze of dirtbike exhaust.

Honda Produces An Amazing Robot, Wisely Immediately Makes It Into A Bartender

2011-11-08T10:06:00.001-05:00

Don't look now, but he's dancing with your girlfriend.

Look, If You Learn To Fly, You're Pretty Much Guaranteed A Mention On The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

2011-11-07T08:13:00.000-05:00

Dude's cruising down The Eiger (the ogre) in Switzerland.

Housing Bubble. Burst

2011-11-06T16:03:00.001-05:00

These fellows could get an entire wing in the Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys Pantheon of Greats. The Pantheon is right next to the Borderline Sociopathic Parthenon.

He Friggin Blew Up Friggin Frenchie, The Friggin Hoser

2011-11-05T11:36:00.000-04:00

(Some infantile swearing)

Master Coconut Cutter? There Can Be Only ONE!

2011-11-04T09:55:00.001-04:00

(There's a little swearing in there)

Famous Last (Borderline Sociopathic Boys) Words: Don't Worry, We're Just Stopping For Some Ice

2011-11-03T09:53:00.001-04:00

(Thanks to honorary Borderline Sociopathic Boy Tom Francis for sending that one along)

The Best Thing About Surfing China's Rivers Is That After You Get Dipped Into The Water A Few Times, You're Rustproof

2011-11-02T08:12:00.000-04:00

A tidal bore, from Wikipedia:

Bores occur in relatively few locations worldwide, usually in areas with a large tidal range (typically more than 6 metres (20 ft) between high and low water) and where incoming tides are funneled into a shallow, narrowing river or lake via a broad bay. The funnel-like shape not only increases the tidal range, but it can also decrease the duration of the flood tide, down to a point where the flood appears as a sudden increase in the water level. Note the tidal bore takes place during the flood tide and never during the ebb tide.

A tidal bore may take on various forms, ranging from a single breaking wavefront with a roller — somewhat like a hydraulic jump — to "undular bores", comprising a smooth wavefront followed by a train of secondary waves ("whelps"). Large bores can be particularly unsafe for shipping but also present opportunities for river surfing.

(Thanks to MisterArthur for sending that one along)

I'm Pretty Sure I Was On This Flight

2011-11-01T04:30:00.000-04:00

(Thanks to borderline paper pilot Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

ME∀NWHILE, IN RUSSI∀

2011-10-31T04:30:00.000-04:00

The world seemed to have a use for daring young men in the distant past. Cat-burglar in an empty building seems like a step down.

I Wish These Guys Spoke English, So I Could Figure Out What The Hell They Were Trying To Accomplish

2011-10-30T09:11:00.000-04:00

(They swear a bit. I think)

Two regular Enrico Infermis discover that sparklers have a piece of metal wire as their core. I love that they conduct their experiments on a carpeted floor. They're currently (sorry) working on a cold fusion/warm beer experiment that should revolutionize garage life forever.

If Krusty The Klown And Evel Knievel Had A Love Child

2011-10-29T09:00:00.001-04:00

(Thanks to Mark Sherman for sending that one along)

The Human Always Wins Because The Human Keeps Score

2011-10-28T08:25:00.001-04:00

When You Grew Up, You Wanted To Be A Fireman

2011-10-27T07:41:00.001-04:00

Now you want to grow up and be a fireman videographer.

That's Not Surfing; That's Sandblasting

2011-10-26T10:40:00.001-04:00

The Wedge at Newport Beach.

There's Cool, And Then There's...

2011-10-25T09:59:00.000-04:00

There's Clint Eastwood cool. Mild sorts of cool, like Fonzie. Cool like Godfather movies. Rat Pack cool. Way up the scale, there's things like Miles Davis cool. But at the apex, it's gotta be a robot riding a bicycle.

He Uses The Grill To Make Knives From Railroad Spikes. We Use The Grill To Heat Hot Dogs

2011-10-24T10:17:00.001-04:00

Mmm. Hot dogs.

Oh Dear; They've Found Mates And Are Reproducing

2011-10-23T09:17:00.003-04:00

She told him it was their mad bike skills they found so attractive, but it was probably the Beemer.

I Told You. No Capes!

2011-10-22T12:18:00.002-04:00

You can invite the girls over, but try not to squeal like they do.