The Search For Effective Crowd Control Weapons If Gumby And Pokey And Wallace And Gromit Start Rioting

Let he who has not tried to weaponize silly putty cast the first stone.

(Note: A little swearing)

If This Was Calvinball, The Score Would Now Be Q-12

That was the greatest touchdown throw in the history of ever, of course, but it would barely merit a mention in the annals of Calvinball lore. No controversy about the touchdown would be necessary, either; there is never a need for replacement officials in Calvinball, as there is no one to replace.

1.2 Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game. The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5)the player is in.

Huzzah! And don't forget to sing the Calvinball song the whole time:

"Other kids' games are all such a bore!
They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It's never the same! It's always bizarre!
You don't need a team or a referee!
You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me!"
(Backup-Singing "Rumma Tum Tums")

Self-organized games are more fun, and teach people to get along with each other, and not rely on others to mediate disputes. We need more of them, not less.

More Calvinball rules here.  Poor sportsmanship, whining, cheating and greed here, if you'd rather.

Good To See Going To A College Paying Off For Someone

It's a brave new world. You might be able to make a few bucks by filming yourself skateboarding around a college, but not by attending one.

Back In The Day, My Friends And I Could Do This Faster. Except We Ignored The Engine And Took All The Wheels And Left It Up On Blocks

Did I say that out loud? What's the statute of limitations on these things?


(Thanks to friend of the BSBFB Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

Or You Could, You Know, Buy Some Nightcrawlers And A Fishing Pole

I've held my breath longer than that when I had to use a Porta-Potty at a construction site, but other than that, this guy takes the cake.

Hey Rocky, Watch Me Pull A Swingset Outa My Hat. Nothing Up My Sleeve...

That trick never works.






Park ranger with bolt cutters and nerves of steel.

Excuse Me For A Moment. I Have To Drive To Russia And Have This Guy Buy Me Some Lottery Tickets

Dude's lucky.

[Related: The second-luckiest man in Russia]

One Of These Days, Stanley -- TO THE MOON!

Ron Fugelseth is a good dad:

On Aug 24th 2012 we sent my son's favorite train "Stanley" to space in a weather balloon with a HD camera and an old cell phone for GPS. He was recovered 27 miles away in a corn field and we got some great footage of the trip. This video documents the journey from liftoff to landing.

My 4 year old and Stanley are inseparable like Calvin and Hobbes. He's been attached to him since he was two, and they play, sleep and do everything together. I animated Stanley's face with After Effects and Photoshop to bring him to life how I imagine my son sees him.

Honestly, What Self-Respecting Sport Is Played In A Shirt With Buttons?

Think You Have A Bad Job? This Poor Fellow Has To Go Clean The Phoenix Droppings Off The Geoffmackley.com Billboard In The Middle Of A Volcano

Oh, dear; forgot my squeegee.

Bombs Away

Sorry about the dreadful auto-tuned teenybopper music. 

The Collings Foundation restores and flies WWII vintage warplanes, and barnstorms around the country showing them off. If they're ever near where you are, you should go and see them. I took my father to see the very plane in this video, and two others that they display. But then again, he told me no one in their right mind would ever jump out of a perfectly good plane.

Miss you, dad.

Doverey, No Proverey

Nothing fills one with confidence like the words: Russian Bungee Jumping Equipment. That confidence is written all over the young fellow's face. There's plenty of room for it between his eyes, after all.

He wipes away a little tear at the end there, probably realizing that he should have done his homework after all.

(Thanks to friend of the Borderline Blog Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I Lasted For Nine Hours And Ten Minutes, But Then I Blinked. See If You Can Do Better

Ten hours of Liam Neeson staring. Me, I'd rather watch Rob Roy five times, but I'm strange like that.

Kirill, Kirill, Kirill Benderoni - Watch Out For That Tree!

I suppose if your name is Kirill Benderoni, you're going to have to find an unusual way to make a living. Think outside the box. No one's going to make you a partner, and add "Benderoni" to the logo on the skyscraper. Maybe training to be a bigfoot paperboy is a savvy career move.

Holy Cow, That Looks Colder Than Old Orchard Beach In July

"Wakeboarding in Alaska." Have those words ever been assembled in that order before?

I Was Going To Be A Spanish Firefighter, But My Dalmation Drowned

Are you allowed to have fun when you're a firefighter? Do you have to pretend to be serious all the time, because firefighting is, after all, a very serious business? I dunno. I do know that if I was a Spanish aerial firefighter, I'd probably be fired for smiling all the time, because it looks like a stone cold blast.

(Thanks to that devotee of all things Borderline, Charles Schneider, for sending that one along)

I've Been Outside. It's Overrated

Oh, we do love Rube Goldberg here on our corner of the Intertunnel. Hither and yon, upsy-daisy, to and fro, fruitless and wonderful. I'm hard-pressed to imagine a more masterful conglomeration of pointless and entertaining plastic as Austin's K'Nex massive timewaster.

This is Clockwork, my fifth major K'nex ball machine, and my largest and most complex K'nex structure to date. It took 8 months to build, has over 40,000 pieces, over 450 feet of track, 21 different paths, 8 motors, 5 lifts, and a one-of-a-kind computer-controlled crane, as well as two computer-controlled illuminated K'nex balls.

Austin's K'Nex Designs

Left Side Story

Alan Kempster on Facebook

The Only Scary Thing In This Video Appears At 0:21

Someone is carrying ammo in a United States Postal Service bin. Coals to Newcastle, son; coals to Newcastle.

Great Moments In Wretched Excess Interspersed With Long Periods Of Ennui: Backstage With The Rolling Stones

Beats working.

This Is The Time Of The Year When The Birds In The City Change Color And Drop From The Trees. Almost Ski Season!

(Reader Fred Z sends that along, and says the kids are alright in Canada)

Great Moments In Borderline Sociopathic Behavior: Local Boy Crashes His Riding Mower Through The Clothesline, Decides To Keep Going

Video is blissfully free of Enya background music. Fantasy of Flight.

(as seen at our friends Stipistop)

To Live And Let Die Another Tomorrow With The Goldenpussy Doctorball Thunderfinger Royale, Twice

Hey, where's David Niven?

Bullitt On A Bicycle

Cheetah Robot Runs Faster Than Usain Bolt

That's all very well and good, of course, because it's a robot, fer crissakes, and robots are baseline cool, but any real scientician worth his salt would be working on a robot based on a different Olympic athlete:



(With a big hello to my Frisian friends)

Public School Should Show This Movie Instead Of Super Size Me And An Inconvenient Truth

Maybe then the graduates would at least know enough to stop holding the gun sideways when they hold up a liquor store.

It's Just A Porch Swing, But It's A Really Nice Porch

Or You Could Watch Chevys Take A Left

Friend of the Borderline Blog, Leon Carpenter, sends along some amazing footage of the Isle of Man TT. Not one of them could beat me home from the pub on a Friday, but they're pretty fast.

The Greatest Words Ever Uttered: Let's Ride Bikes!

Despite what all those old fuddy-duddies tell you, it was only forty percent more fun wearing Keds and cut-off shorts and a Sawx hat for a helmet, with baseball cards in the spokes. Forty-five, tops.

If It's Not Scottish, It's Crap

There are two theories about arguing with a man that's been drinking whiskey. Neither one works.