A Brief History Of Annoying The Neighbors

I told you. No Stairway to Heaven.

I'd Keep Kitesurfing. I Don't Think The Heavy Stuff Is Going To Come Down For Quite A While

Tropical Storm Debbie put a few people off their game. Not this guy.





(Thanks to Joke du Jour at Within the Crainium for sending that one along)

Two In The Hat -- Over Easy

English Russian Egg Roulette. Easily explained; the urge for former zygotes to get back to the mothership is immense. About 95 percent of the entire Intertunnel is devoted to depictions of this urge. I guess this video makes it 95.1 percent.


(Thanks to Borderline editor Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along)

Spiderman Was A Piker

If you can't do it unless you're sticky, I've got no use for you.


(Thanks to our favorite adherent here at the BSBFB, Gerard at American Digest, for sending that along)

Forget Sara Lee. No One Doesn't Like Jackie Chan

From the German TV show Wanna Bet?

Jackie Chan is one of those rare celebrities that becomes universal. He could appear in any country, any language -- cooking show, talk show, game show, stage play, movie, whatever -- and just be himself. He's got more in common with Santa Claus or Paul Bunyan or Johnny Appleseed than a movie star.

No one doesn't like Jackie Chan. And even if you could find someone that didn't, he could kick their ass and then make friends with them at the same time anyway. 

Name A Word In English That Changes Its Meaning Entirely If Its Capitalized: polish

And Polish changes everything. Koparką nad morze, the title says; "excavator to the sea." Say, isn't that a Bobby Darin song?

Excavator to the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
A Polish man on golden sands
He's draggin' some drips that go sailin'

Excavator to the sea
YouTube's watching for me
If I could fly like nerds who're high
Then dragged by my arms
I'd go sailin'


It's far beyond the czars
It's near beyond Kowloon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon...


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that along. He knows that's a grapple attachment on the end of that excavator's arm. He's cool that way)

Put 'Er There, Pal

In other news, passengers on a downtown bus report a strange smell coming from the driver's seat.

Dude, Your Elbows Are On Sideways And Your Alphabet Is On Backwards

"My secoud video about turnimans in Sambir(11.09.2011)
by SoN 3 days 4 hours ago

I capture this video on my Casio Exilim EX-H15.
Place of events is my native town Sambir (Ukraine)."

Ah, yes -- a "turnimans." The world needs more of such turnimans, and less of the other kinds.

Synchronized swimming is an Olympic sport. So are canoeing,  jumping on a trampoline, dressage, and badminton. The IOC also recognizes bridge, billiards, bocce, chess, competitive ballroom dancing, and reading a map and compass as activities that meet the definition of sports that could be included in future Olympics.

All the real sports are played informally in the playground and on the street now. If it's organized, it's a toddler beauty pageant of some sort, and can be safely ignored.

(thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that along. His alphabet is always on frontways)

Man Makes Knife So Sharp He Can Cut His SpaghettiOs With It

I think the young fellers got bored with Norm and all the various home remodelers, but they have to be interested in something. Lots of backyard metalworkers out there in the landscape these days. 

Well, It's The Best Slip 'N Slide In A Ten-Block Area, Anyway

You can build all that, and you still can't operate a Flip camera.


(Thanks to that smooth operator Gerard, at American Digest, for sending that one along)

A Robot's A Robot

Robots are cool, period. Now, robots are much cooler when they're forty storeys high, burping out laser beams and farting nerve gas and desolating the landscape, but you can't have everything. A LEGO robot is still cool. Even if its preferred medium is floral foam.

OK, I admit a LEGO floral foam robot isn't bitchin', but it's still cool. That's as far as I'll go.

Let Me Tell You What Parkour Really Is

Parkour is a physical discipline and non-competitive sport which focuses on efficient movement around obstacles.

BRRRRPPPPT. Wrong.

It's male human beings sick to death of being sent outside in bubble wrap to play in ADA compliant playgrounds with the monkey bars set so low your knees would touch the ground --if the ground wasn't covered with a rubber cushion. It's little boys weary of wearing helmets to ride a tricycle. It's the human spirit, unleashed, where it's always unleashed -- the last place you'd expect.

Go pass another anti-bullying rule while obsessing over the gruel you serve in the cafeteria, just before letting the kids go outside in a pen to watch the girls text each other while sitting on the swings. We're playing here.

This Video Has A Flaming Tetherball Of Death, Which I Find Interesting Because Flaming Tetherball Of Death Is Also The Name Of My Debbie Boone Tribute Band

Rube Goldberg devices, like most everything in this world, are greatly improved by liberal helpings of fire.


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, for letting us stand next to his fire)

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!

Mmmm. Veal.

It's Almost Summer. Resolve To Yell Cowabunga At Least Once This Year

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for yelling Cowabunga first this year)

Ode To The Good Old Days When Car Bumpers Were Made Of Chrome And All These Methods Were Superfluous

If You're Going To Skateboard In A Place That Still Canes People For This And That, You Better Look Buttoned-Down While Doing It

And don't chew gum. You don't want to get your ass in a Singapore sling.

The Fundamental Difference Between The Sexes: Conquering Acrophobia To Impress Potential Mates Division

MALE:




FEMALE:






(Thanks to the BSBFB's own version of NORM!, Gerard at American Digest, for sending along the Russian vid)

They're Not Ready For Society To Collapse Yet, But If It Just Sort Of Slouches, They're Your Men

Me? I'm more of a slave Leia sort of a futurist. You guys can go ahead and knock yourselves out with the R2D2 angle, though.


(Thanks to Teman at Ethereal Land for sending that one along)

And Remember. Haff Nise Dey

Officially, it's not a tank. But what do I look like, an official? Someone loaned FPS Russia a tank! Of course, he knows what to do with a borrowed tank. Make it into a potato gun:





M18 Hellcat. You know, if Buick still made these, they'd wouldn't need a bailout. It goes 60 mph, and merging onto the highway would be a snap. Who, exactly, wouldn't yield? A nice, economical commuter.


(Thanks to friend of the BSBFB Gerard at American Digest, who needs one of these to commute in Seattle. Prius -- er -- pry us out of here)

Everyone Has A Plan Till They Get Punched In The Mouth

Mike Tyson's plan seems to have been to be missing when your fist arrives, then showing up just a second later with a hammer.

Hey, Honey, A Russian Guy On Craigslist Says He's Got A Space Heater For Sale. It's A Dyna-Glo Or A MIG Or Something. Sounds Legit

Where does one get a MiG jet engine, exactly? It'll probably run on straight kerosene, and this guy probably bathes in that, or drinks it, so that's not a problem. But honestly, where did he get it? I don't even want to know what else this dude's got in the garage. Polonium donuts? ICBMs?

Then again, maybe it's just me, but I'd only be afraid of the dogs. The flames leaking out of the side of the thing don't bother me. Most Chevys do that.


(As seen on YARGB)

Real American Heroes: The Poop Splash Eliminator

Dropping the kids off at the pool will never be the same.


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for, um, dropping that video into our inbox)

I'm Bustin' Outa Here, See?

Coming Soon from Disney: The Longest Yard Of The Green Birdman Of The Harry Alcatraz Papillon Shawshank Hand Luke Come Home


(Thanks to Travis Kurtz for sending that one along)

Berserker Mister Rogers Wouldn't Throw Throwing Knives. Of Course Not

Someday, this guy's going to grow up, and we'll all be the worse for it.


(Thanks to good friend of the BSBFB Charles Schneider for throwing this our way)

Nothing More Manly Than A Fake Punt, I Always Say

Wow, did you know Houston used to have a football team? Go figure.

Surfers At Teahupoo Don't Wear Helmets, But I Think They Must Wear Diapers

Can we, I mean we humans, come up with some sort of noise to make in these situations other than "woo"? Woo ain't cuttin' it.

Young Borderline Boy Plays Guitar Neck While The Rest Of The Guitar Sits Next To Him

I almost lost it when he started singing, too.

Renaissance Fair To Middling

I hate this old-fashioned stuff. We need to bring it up to date:

I Shoot An Arrow In The Air. Where It Lands I Do Not Care. I Get 12 Gauge Shotgun Shells Wholesale

Unless we allow Hollywood marriages to enter, this is probably the winner in the Making Both Things Worse By Joining Them Together Contest.


Oh, and turn the cameraphone sideways, you tool.


Other than that? Flawless victory.


(Thanks to the flawless Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along)