Watch It, Or I'll Go All Time Magazine On Your Ass

Anyone with a haircut like the assistant deserves at least a caning just for walking around in public.

50 Percent Mad Max, 1/2 Tom Sawyer

They should use a roller. Covers better.

If You Find This Video Annoying, You Can Sleep Serene Knowing That The Rider Will Never Reproduce

I'm not a chemist, so I'm not sure which ingredient in Red Bull produces the urge to beat your testicles like rented mules.


(Thanks to Brian Erb for sending that one along)

Almost Time To Go Paradin'

Quick -- who wrote the music for the Marine Corp Hymn? Nope. He's so USA, it's true, but it wasn't him. It was him.

Well, It's A Three-Day Weekend. Let's Make Weapons!

Boy, Is Dad Gonna Be Pissed When He Goes To Mow The Lawn

Forget flying cars. I want a flying go-kart!


S D Planes

Mister Rogers Crossed With A Berserker Goes To A Sizzler

The Oberfranken Steakknife Massacre!


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. Are you going to eat your fat?)

Hollywood Is Finally Trying Its Hand At Portraying The Morning Commute On The Southeast Expressway In Boston

I don't remember seeing Bigfoot when I drove past the gas tanks, but then again, the rats that emerged when they dug the new tunnel weighed more than that.

Rollin' With Three Leisure Suit Larrys

You've got to watch out for dead armadillos in the road.


Hmmm. Is there another kind of armadillo besides dead armadillo? I've never seen another kind.

Sure, Uncle Drew's A Real Baller, But Don't Ever Mess With Shirtless Grandpa Rabbitpunch

This Is Extremely Dangerous. You Might Spill Your Beer If You Do It Wrong

The video is refreshingly free of any pretense of safety. It's booze, and we're waving a chainsaw at it, and that's that.


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, who is also refreshingly free of any pretense of safety, for sending that one along)

The Gentleman's Guide To Racing And Not Pooping Until The End

(Thanks to Borderline friend of the Borderline Blog, Charles Schneider, for not pooping until he sent us that)

Real Men Play Gaelic. You Know, Volleybasketsoccarenafootball

Gaelic Football

You Know, If You Had One Of These Babies, You Could Probably Make It To The Dunkin' Donuts In Bangor In February

Holy cow the hosts of that show are like nine-year-olds with a line of credit.


Howe and Howe


(Thanks to our favorite honorary nine-year-old with a credit line, Gerard, at AmericanDigest for sending that one along)

He Dances Better Than Elvis Ever Did, But Then Again, When Elvis Died His Diaper Was Full

It's Entirely Made Fwum Phwood

The love child of Mr. Rogers and a berserker.

Just Wondering; Is The P-38 Lightning The Coolest Thing Ever Made In America?

Don't Forget Mom Today. She Done Made You

Math Is Hard, Yo

How To Survive A Robot Uprising

I take the long view on such matters. Play a deep game. I keep the humidity levels in my surrounding at heightened levels at all times. Corrosion, baby!

Absolutely The Pinnacle Of "I Have No Idea What's Going On"

Gaelic yelling, cars jostling like piglets at the teat, policemen re-enacting the chariot race in Ben Hur, everyone driving all over the road, all directions, steering wheels on the right, a road-marking system devised by Salvador Dali, and then a bunch of people gather in the middle of the road and chat.


I watched it again. Hey, did you guys notice there was a sulky race in the middle of it?

Well, Let's Face It, Public Transportation Smells Like A Tauntaun On The Inside. Better To Ride Outside

Iron, Plastic, Rubber, Wooden Chef

The Extremely Well-Armed Gentleman's Guide To Skeet Shooting

It's Only 11 Percent Better Than Your Average 200 Million Dollar Hollywood Movie

I see they learned how to spell "oops" on the Intertunnel.

We Can't All Be Heroes

Let's face it. We don't all want to drink ink and stab ourselves with forks. Play with fire and dive under ice. We don't all have the time to ski an avalanche, and we don't get bonus double points on our credit card by expensing trips to bear wrestling exhibitions. But we deserve to have our every damp fart videoed and posted on YouTube, don't we? We're citizens! We matter!


I can't tell if the video is for regular-ass people, or for regular ass-people. Proper punctuation is so important.

Can't Swim? Mae West Not Good Enough For You? Try Skayaking, Or Kydiving... Whatever

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one up here without a paddle)

Shade Tree Mechanics

Lesson one in shade tree mechanic class: Chain your engine block to the shade tree.





Lesson two: It is now easy to reach the spark plugs without hitting the fenders with the adjustable wrench.


(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, who uses this method for dentistry as well, for sending that one along)

Back In My Day, Sonny, We'd Just Use The Printer To Counterfeit Twenties, And Buy A Real Car

Where's The Kaboom? There's Supposed To Be An Earth-Shattering Kaboom!

Ah; shade tree engineering.