Someone Will Pay

Someday, I'm going to put you in a home over this.

Muskles

It's your own weight you have to learn to carry first.

Guns Are Scary

Not as scary as a spelling pop-quiz, or eating broccoli, or stuff like that, though.

Girls Are Crazy

The kid's table is way better at Thanksgiving. You can put your elbows on the table and blow bubbles in the milk through a straw and nobody cares.

Quiet, Numbskulls, I'm Broadcastin'

I ain't shy. Flip the switch.

Boyz 2 Men

What that used to mean.

No, Really; People Used To Do This

And My Helmet Is A Slouch Hat

A lack of seatbelts is not a reason not to ride. Nothing's more dangerous than walking on a farm.

Sports Using Weapons Are Best

Collisions will do, in a pinch.